One month. 6,600 miles. One minivan.

April 28, 2010

The band: Alec Spiegelman on horns, Paul Dilley on bass, and Matt Meyer on drums

On March 4, 2010 another tour began. This time, we started in Ashland, Virginia. We played at a nice listening room called Ashland Coffee & Tea. The most impressive thing about this venue was the railroad tracks that ran right beside it. Periodically, our sound would be muddled by the sound of a train whistle and wheels whistling over the tracks. These train tracks run right through the middle of town and actually serve as a lane divider on the main street, to the dismay of one drunk redneck who decided to drive his truck straight across the tracks for a u turn. He got the wheels of his truck to straddle the tracks as a train was approaching. Luckily some observant townspeople noticed, ran down the tracks, and managed to stop the train from smashing into the truck. The also managed to convince the guy to get out of the truck. We dedicated “Train Ride to Caroline” to him during our set.

After the show we drove 2 hours to stay with our friend Jeremiah in Harrisonburg, caught the last few songs of a local rock band, passed out, and dreamt of our drive the next day through the mountains of West Virginia.

On our last trip this direction, we realized that our drummer, Matt, should not be allowed to drive through the mountains anymore. Route 33 is not a joke mountain road. 15mph curves are real. When you’re from Secaucus, New Jersey you don’t always understand that. No amount of honking and cursing will save you from driving off a cliff or getting nailed by a rockslide.

The Purple Fiddle is a venue in Thomas, West Virginia, population 404. There’s a brewpub, a breakfast place, an art gallery, trees, and mountains. It’s a magical place filled with backwoods stories, moonshine, and all sorts of mountain grown goodies. Thomas got slammed in the snowstorm this past winter. There were still 3 feet of snow on the ground and it was 14 degrees that night.

Sunday we returned to one of my favorite towns, Knoxville Tennessee. 81 South, alongside the Appalachian Mountains, has got to be one of my favorite highways to drive. Not too many cars, pastures with cows, afternoon sunshine, the prospect of going somewhere warmer…

We played at Barley’s Taproom that night and made our 7th appearance on the WDVX “Blue Plate Special” the next day. After the gigs we had Monday night off. Lucky for us, a bunch of music friends were in town including Pokey Lafarge & The Rum Drum Ramblers from St. Louis, and Ferd, the fiddle player from the Hackensaw Boys. (Yes, that’s his real name and it’s not short for Ferdinand. I asked). Ferd convinced the Hotel St. Oliver that it would be cool to have a jam session in the hotel library. Playing fiddles and banjos amidst priceless antiques!

On Tuesday we returned to JJs Bohemia in Chattanooga, Tennessee. We got into town early enough to get into the Bessie Smith museum. For those who don’t know, Bessie Smith was an influential blues singer from the 20s and 30s. The museum was honestly not worth the $7 we paid to get in, but I did learn that Janis Joplin paid for Bessie’s tombstone. Bessie Smith was righteous. Rumor has it she could fill the room with the sound of her voice, unaided by a microphone. I covered one of her songs on our live album, “Babydoll – I wanna be somebody’s babydoll, get my lovin’ all the time…”

Onward the next day we went to Lexington, Kentucky. We played a large venue called Cosmic Charlie’s. College kids that showed up for pint night eventually drowned out the fans that did come out to see us that night. The venue staff was friendly and they did send us away with some beer and put us up in a nice hotel, but damn that was one of the loudest, most unappreciative crowds we’ve seen in a while. The two drunk girls dancing up front slowly lost interest when we wouldn’t play “Fever” for them. (which, by the way, is one of the most requested jazz songs EVER, along with “Summertime” and possibly “Girl from Ipanema. Note to the public: these songs are also the most overplayed jazz songs. Jazz musicians are not interested in playing them anymore. They are good tunes, but they don’t need to be done anymore. You wanna hear “Fever”? My suggestion is to find the classic version of Peggy Lee singing it. Just play it on repeat on your ipod until you get your fix.)

Nashville has a tough scene to break into. There’s always a bunch of stuff going on around town and everyone there is either a musician or “in the biz”. Similar to nyc, you have to work hard to get people out, and most gigs are for tips. Nonetheless, we got a gig to the Family Wash in East Nashville, managed to bring some fans, and made a whopping  $75. One of the highlights of the evening was eating the free sheppard’s pie they give to musicians who play there. Another highlight was playing an impromptu set at the Five Spot after our first show. I rocked the electric guitar and Paul on electric bass. So fun.

Friday night brings on the Flying Monkey in Huntsville, Alabama. We had our friend Rita (a.k.a. Hellen Keller’s Ukulele) open up with us as her backing band. Then Rita had an after party and we made a bonfire in her backyard.

Saturday brings a debut performance in a new city ­– Birmingham! We came to town, played a gig, and met our host for the evening. While traveling, I always like to follow the mantra “do as the locals do”. This is the only way you get the full experience. That night the locals were going to the Latin dance club. We arrived at 3:30 in the morning, which was fine, because they stay open until 8. I never even dreamed about a place like this. We were in Mexico. There was a mechanical bull. Birmingham, who knew.

Our Sunday gig was in New Orleans. We played at Bank St. Bar in mid city. Mostly in the audience were musician friends from Boston, also en route to sxsw in Austin. Sarah Borges & her Broken Singles made an appearance, as did Avi & Celia. Awesome finding familiar faces on the road.

Even better than our gig was busking in Jackson Square the next day. We got to play with a drunk Tuba Player and somebody named something Wildflower on the washboard. Then we ran into some friends from Gainesville, FL, also touring through town. We crashed their house concert and played a set. After the impromptu show, we went to a bar called Mimi’s and saw an awesome swing band. They had $3 glasses of champagne that night that were so fun they made me leave my wallet on the bar. I didn’t realize until the next day, when I tried to buy a Boudin sausage somewhere in the stix of Louisiana. Good sausage!

The next day we drove to Houston for our first gig ever in Texas. It was a Tuesday night at The Mucky Duck. Great venue and tasty food, but maybe playing the day before St. Patrick’s Day at an Irish Bar wasn’t such a great idea. The staff is stressed out from preparation for the big day, and the bar patrons are resting their livers.

And onto Austin, for South by Southwest 2010. This is the time Austin gets insane. 6th St, filled with clubs, music, clubbers, music enthusiasts, and add people dressed in green for March 17.  It was weird. We played our first gig in a grocery store that day. The next day we played in the backyard of a vintage clothing store. Friday we played at Threadgill’s for a lot of people, and then the G&S lounge for 3 people. Saturday we played our favorite gig of the weekend, even though the temperature dropped to 45 degrees and we were playing outside. This was the Brooklyn Country Cookout, hosted by fellow new yorkers, the Difibulators. They rock. We also got to enjoy Lil’ Mo & The Monicats and Shotgun Party. It was a day of barbecue, beer, country bands and, well, us.

That night we drove about an hour south of town to play in San Antonio. This was a good town for us. The club filled up with people eager to see the band. They loved it and bought cds. I wish every new town could be this great. After the gig we made a 2am trip to the Alamo, and then a 3am trip to Denny’s, and then a 4am trip back to Austin because we had to play again at 11am in the morning in more 45-degree weather. We did get some props for rocking out despite the temperature. “Even better than I expected: Miss Tess & The Bon Ton Parade. Although I enjoyed the CD, I was expecting yet another generic nuevo-swing band. Au contraire. Miss Tess and her outfit offered up first rate songs, tight musicianship and an engaging stage presence, even under daunting weather conditions. I can still picture a windswept Tess gamely strumming guitar while her bandmates cradled cups of hot coffee in their frozen hands.” – KSYM Radio

Oh New Mexico! It’s been so long since I’ve visited your dry, crusty, cactus land. We came into Albuquerque and stayed with my cousin Bill. He cooked stuff with green chilies in it, and let us hang out in his sweet hot tub. We had the night off and went to see the movie Crazyheart, a story about a washed up country singer starring Jeff Bridges of the Big Lebowski. We came out of the theater to find one the van windows smashed in, next to a big pile of puke. They took one bag from the van, but luckily left the gps, Matt’s drums, a laptop, and a wad of cash. I lost my bag with a camera and was out $200 for a new window. Bastard idiot drunk. Can people stop smashing windows? It’s really annoying.

The next day we had two gigs. The first one was in the afternoon at a center for developmentally challenged adults. Talk about uninhibited. I’ve never seen such enthusiastic dance moves.

The last thing I remember about Santa Fe was getting my wrists tattooed. 5 circles on each wrist. Then I remembered the hostel where I once stayed. I thought it would be fun to have the band stay there. It might not have been the best choice. The staff was the most uptight hostel staff I’ve ever encountered in my traveling days. They seemed really stressed out. Isn’t a hostel supposed to be a welcoming bohemian traveler’s paradise? Not this one. The rooms were dirty and cold. Luckily our gig that night was smokin’ at The Cowgirl BBQ. Yeehaw.

Thursday was Denver, Colorado. This was an awesome day because I finally reconnected with my wallet, which had been chasing me around the country all the way from New Orleans. First it was mailed to Austin, but got there a day late. Then shipped again to Denver. Credit cards in tact but missing $150. That’s the last time I drink champagne at a bar. The gig was mediocre. We made $42.

Friday we got the luxury treatment in Salida. You know you’re in a hippie Colorado town when you can convince someone in a coffee shop to give the band post-show back massages. This was awesome. We played at The Salida Café and stayed with the booking agent. We found our second hot tub of the tour and vegged out underneath the Colorado sky. Life is really hard at this point.

We got up in the morning and drove on to Colorado Springs. These towns are so pretty, all set with a backdrop of snow capped mountains. Tap the rockies. We played the Front Range BBQ. Good eatin’ there. We found someone to put us up at the gig. His name was Andy and lives on a dead end street at the edge of a national park called “The Garden of the Gods”. We watched horses ride by his house on the way into the park, and went on a short hike ourselves. Beautiful.

Driving, driving, driving to Kansas City. So much driving I got a $150 Kansas speeding ticket. Tell me, how are you supposed to get across that goddamn state without speeding? It’s flat, it’s straight, it takes forever to get across, and racing trucks is one of the only forms of entertainment.

Late Sunday night we landed in Kansas City, which strangely enough, is in Missouri. We stayed with some of Paul’s friends in their amazing artist house. There was a life-size functional Operation (the game) table in their living room. This couple not only housed the band, but put together a kickass show for us at the Czar Bar, found a local band to share the bill (Alacartoona – KC Cabaret!), made awesome promo posters (check out Hector’s artwork www.hectorcasanova.net), and brought our all their friends our for support.

On Tuesday we drove to St. Louis. We played at BB’s Blues, Jazz, and Soups. Story is there used to be a hotel called Phil’s attached to the bar. It used to house a lot of drunks and druggies who would spend their days being barflies at BBs. The bar manager thought if they were gonna sit around and drink all day, they might as well eat something too, so they made big pots of soups and stuff, and served it to their clientelle for $1 per bowl.

We spent the night in the city of the big arch, then drove to Farmington, MO, referred to by some as the meth capital of Missouri. I have to say, we had a great show here. Our friend Tim, who runs a printing company called Unique Ink, sponsored the show and brought a great crowd. They also get credit for not only making the first sign for our band that was made of actual gold. Look at the picture, I’m not making this shit up.

Nothing like rounding off a month-long trip with a 1,000 mile drive back to Brooklyn to make our show that Friday. We rocked out at the Calamity Janes’ cd release party at the Jalopy Theater, back in our hometown. It’s very nice to get out the van for a spell.

Until next time…

Snowstorms, parades, and 3lb hamburgers

February 15, 2010

Our tour this time started in Frederick, MD. Who would think there would be such a nice little music venue in the town we used to call “Fredneck” growing up as Marylanders. We had a great time playing at Café Nola, and even got to participate in an after hours bar top dance party!

The next day we drove to Norfolk, VA to play. It was really cold and there was an impending snow storm, so we weren’t sure if anyone would turn out. We were pleasantly surprised by a big crowd that night. It might be a small beach town, but we always do well there for some reason. There are videos from that night here –> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwS_5hmgnIs

It wasn’t until the next day that we got slammed with snow. The Virginia folk had bought up all the bread and tp, and we got out of town in the morning and drove 8 hours in the snow until we got to Charlotte. It didn’t really matter how long it took, because our gig was cancelled anyway. We were supposed to play a showcase concert called the Tosco Music Party in front of over a thousand people. After the venue closed, we were moved to a smaller venue called the Evening Muse. We played a short set for about 25 people. Kind of a bummer. But the good news is we got to go sledding after the show. Yeehaw!

On Monday, we made $80 at our gig in Charleston. I don’t usually like to talk about money but this is how it is sometimes. We drove three hours, slept on my cousin’s floor and couch, and played a gig on a Monday night. It’ll keep ya humble.

Do you ever wonder what musicians do on their time off during tour in Savannah? In the case of our bass player, you enter a hamburger-eating contest. The deal is they serve up a triple burger, complete with three one-pound chunks of beef, and the accompanying buns, as well as a pound of French fries. You buy this food for $25, unless, of course, you finish all the food in under 40 minutes. God bless America. Let’s just say there are only a few folks who can pull this off, and Ben won’t be eating a hamburger any time soon. And after watching that, neither will I.

Friday night we got added on a bill at Skipper’s Smokehouse, opening for a Nashville guy named Todd Snider. Thanks to local radio station WNMF for sponsoring the show and getting us on that night.

After playing wedding in Jacksonville, we drove about 7 hours to Mobile, Alabama for Superbowl Sunday. It was pretty cool being in Callaghans – a small neighborhood bar – when the New Orleans Saints clinched the win. Mobile is also in the middle of Mardi Gras. Most people think New Orleans is crazy, but there’s plenty of partying going on in Mobile as well. They have big parades twice a day for three weeks leading up to Fat Tuesday, you can drink booze on the streets as long as it’s in plastic, and bars can stay open 24 hours. We went to a parade on Sunday night. Our drummer Matt got nailed in the face with a moon pie someone threw to him off of one of the floats. “I thought you were looking”…

The next day we started to get word of a crazy blizzard due to hit the mid-atlantic. On Tuesday we drove 15 hours from Mobile to Harrisonburg, VA, in hope of getting a head start on the storm. We left again at 8am and drove through some amazingly hazardous highway conditions in PA. Cars and huge trucks were crashed and stranded and scattered all around the highway. We were running out of gas as we searched for an exit that was clear enough for us to escape the highway mess. Finally, we reached an exit, which thankfully had an open truck stop. Thank you Loves. You have really good beef jerky. We think you should start selling beer and whiskey for emergency situations. The highway closed and we spent 5 hours hangin’ with the truckers. Then we found a nearby hotel and waded in thigh-deep snow with our luggage to get to our rooms.

So much for winter tour! We are happy to be back in Brooklyn safely…until next time…

Please make an effort people

December 23, 2009

I just wanted to send a message out to the general press. First we’re called “Miss Tess & The Bon Bons: Vintage Bluegrass with a Modern Egde” in an ocean side tourist restaurant in Florida. Then in Asheville we were listed as a “formidable Celtic Rock Trio” for our gig at Jack of the Wood. Now on pg. 63 on this week’s issue of The Village Voice, we are listed as “Miss Ten & Bon Parade” for our appearance at the City Winery. Thanks guys – you’re really doing a good job.

The epic journeys of Miss Tess continue…

December 11, 2009

And so began another journey with The Bon Ton Parade, Ben, Alec, and Matt…This tour started November 5th, 2009, in the hills of West Virginia, home of one of my favorite hauntings, The Purple Fiddle. We carried on, played music, drank local moonshine, and called it a night. It snowed.

The next day we drove seven hours to Salisbury, NC. The good thing about long car trips is that you have plenty of time to practice harmony vocals with your backing band while enjoying some lovely fall scenery. 

That night we played at an artist collective gallery space, and played for a sparse crowd in a new town.

Then came Asheville, another one of my favorite places. Such a cute little town nestled in the mountains of North Carolina. You can’t throw a rock without hitting a musician there. Another perk is you can iron your suit jackets on the large iron in the middle of  town. Tonight we played at a cozy spot called Jack of the Wood and had a great time! Ben & Alec were really excited for the gig.

After a day off in Asheville, we headed to Charleston, Party Town USA. I must say the crowd at the Pourhouse can consume a healthy amount of alcohol on a Monday night, including the guy that kept yelling “You’re hot!!”in the direction of the stage. Thanks, I love that. After the gig we went for a dip in the ocean, and on the way back our friend got pulled over and taken to jail for a busted headlight. Watch out for police state in SC! That might be the last time he hangs out with Miss Tess & co…

I’ll be honest. Sometimes touring is the pits. You drive all day to some random town, play for nobody, make no money, and have no food, and no place to sleep. But at least you have your band, who you spend 24 hours a day with, to keep you company.

Other times, people let you stay in their houses, that just happen to have a screened in pool and a jacuzzi In Gainesville. Sometimes people donate their beach houses in Mexico Beach on the gulf coast for the band to stay in on their days off.

Holy shit is this nice

Sometimes you have days off on the beach in Florida, in November, to play ukuleles, eat raw oysters, and look at shells, and you think silently to yourself “everybody in Boston right now is a sucker”.

This is real sand

Miss Tess & Matt Meyer

Tour is rough at Mexico Beach

Ben & his ukulele

Sometimes your host has a trampoline in their back yard.

After-gig trampoline time!

And sometimes you come accross the most awesome Elvis impersonators ever.

What a hunk!

Welcome to America

The King lives! Happy Veteran’s Day!

Next, you realize you have to get back to work and drive to Mobile, Alabama. We always have a blast in Mobile. We usually play at a neighborhood venue called Callahan’s Irish Social Club (where we’ll be playing in February), but this time we were at The Alabama Music Box, a late-night hipster bar.

Art at the Music Box

It was a lot of fun for a Tuesday night. Also, I learned that bars in Mobile can stay open 24 hours.

The next day we headed right  back to Jacksonville, where we’d just been a few days before, and played at a place called Jackrabbits. As a result of a bad job of band-matching by their booking agent, and our failure to have a fan base that wanted to come to Jacksonville’s hottest metal bar, there were 5 people there for our set. We played one song for each person, then promptly left and drove to a hotel in Savannah.

Savannah is a gorgeous city with a wonderful hint of a seedy undertone. We got to lallygag around downtown all day, walking along the river and wandering in shops. Alec bought a guitar today, and Ben played his ukulele with some musicians in the park. It was a good day.

Next we went back to The Stillwater Taproom in Augusta, GA, home of James Brown! We even got to hang out with one of his back up singers of 15 years. This town also knows how to party…

After playing a swing dance in Huntsville, and a house concert in Louisville, we headed up to Columbus and played at a 90-year-old’s birthday party. It was super cute and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a sweeter expression on anyone’s face. She said we could come back and hang out anytime we wanted.She also gave Matt a lesson on the snare drum.

That evening we played in a bar called the Treehouse. The room was complete with, yes, a large tree trunk growing in the middle of it. We had a blast and then drove until six in the morning to try to knock some hours off the drive to Boston. Funny checking into a hotel room in the morning when the sun is shining…

Our last show before thanksgiving was a lunchtime engagement at Mechanic’s Hall in Worcester, MA. This was a beautiful room and a great way to end our three week November tour.

Mechanic's Hall

Here are some more random pics. Until next time…

A crazy big leaf bug...

We found Matt's twin in Tampa!!

Our first show sponsored by pbr, Matt's favorite beer!

Ybor city, Tampa

Where's our bass player?

Miss Tess & The bon bons – Vintage Bluegrass with a Modern Egde.

Happy Halloween!

November 3, 2009

Luckily we had a week off the road and I got to dress up for Halloween, perhaps my favorite holiday. And I love group theme costumes. Here’s Three’s Company with my friends from The Sweet & Lowdown, Rachael Price & Mike Calabrese. And yes, we learned the theme song and have recorded it for your listening pleasure. 

Three's Company

Three's Company in the house

3scompany

Did we do a good job?

 

We crashed a couple parties including one hosted by our dear friend and Sweet & Lowdown bassist, Zack Hickman, aka “the circus strongman”.

Zack in the circus again

Zack was born for showbiz

October. In the south again?

November 3, 2009

We were supposed to go to Colorado in October, but we got a couple festival offers in North Carolina, and a pretty good gig offer in Nashville so we decided – what the hell, let’s go back to the southeast for a bit and go to Colorado in March.

This month we’re joined by a new bass player, Ben Davis. Ben likes to stomp and make funny faces, and he plays the ukulele in his free time. He is also really good at playing the upright bass and singing backup harmonies.

The first show of the tour brought us to Charlotte, NC to a historic blues bar called The Double Door Inn. Even though it says “Live Blues” in neon, this joint is no longer exclusive to blues music, they say the blues legends and their fans are dying off. It’s still pretty cool to perform on a stage that was once home to folks like Buddy Guy and Koko Taylor.

Live @ The Double Door
Live @ The Double Door Inn. Photo courtesy of Daniel Costen.

After Charlotte we headed to a small rural area close to Chapel Hill to play at The Shakori Hills Grassroots Music Festival. I was excited to be invited to play, because I’ve been harassing these folks to be included for the last couple years. Sometimes persistence pays off. This is a really nice, small hippie festival, albeit a little disorganized with the booking. We learned maybe a week before the festival when we were actually playing, which was on Sunday. When you’re on the road and you have no shows booked Thursday, Friday, or Saturday, it generally sucks because those are the nights you might actually be able to make a buck. It did not suck this time, however, because we decided to camp in tents for the whole weekend, enjoy a ton of live music, jam with long lost friends, develop affinities for old-time fiddle music, and eat free hippie food as often as we liked. We had a great set and hope to come back sometime soon for another festival.

We also had really nice shows in Frederick, Maryland at Cafe Nola, New York City at the Living Room, The Tea Bazaar in Charlottesville (with our friends David Wax Museum), and the Barn at the Loveless Cafe for Music City Roots in Nashville.

I like the south and I like Nashville. Sometimes I think about moving there. Our show in music was really special this time around. It’s the first time we’ve played in town for more than 20 people. This new music series, Music City Roots is sponsored by WSM Radio, a pioneering radio station started in the 1920s, that has primarily broadcasted stuff from the Grand Ole Opry. They started the series this October, as a showcase for the blossoming roots music scene. We got to meet Sam Bush (newgrass superstar), Eddie Stubbs (epic radio dj), Craig Havighurst (prolific music writer & critic), and Bob Moore (named #1 country bassist of all time by Life Magazine, recorded on over 17,000 sessions including Patsy Cline’s “Crazy” and Elvis’s “All Shook Up”). To see a video of our performance that night, go here.

We also ran into a good friend and terrific fiddle player in Nashville, Nate Leath. I will leave you with a video. We were busking on the strip on Broadway. We were so good that the bum sitting across the sidewalk from us gave us money.

Back in the dirty south

November 2, 2009

You know you’re in the South when you see “Garden & Gun” Magazine.

Garden & Gun
‘Garden & Gun’ Magazine

Another indication is when people tell stories about wrestling bears and they’re not joking. And to put a cherry on top of a deep fried green bean, you know it when you’re a jazz band playing in a bar and someone requests “Rocky Top”. Two questions to our requester – one: do we look or sound like a bluegrass band? and two: how many more times do you think you’re going to need to hear that song? Ah it’s good to be back, even if some people are confused as to why there’s a saxophone instead of a fiddle in the band.

We had a couple firsts on our tour in September. One was experiencing a stinkbug infestation, which began at my parent’s house in Maryland. They were everywhere!

Stinkbug
Another Stink Bug!

Pentatomoidea is a superfamily of insects, which are commonly referred to as shield bugs or stink bugs. Shield bugs have glands in their thorax between the first and second pair of legs which produce a foul smelling liquid. This liquid is used defensively to deter potential predators and is sometimes released when the bugs are handled carelessly. We found a living stink bug in our van two weeks after we left Maryland. Stinky hands…

Another wonderful first, at least for me, was a visit to South Carolina’s “South of the Border”. If you haven’t been, you might’ve at least seen a million signs along I-95 advertising for one of the most beautiful tourist traps I’ve ever seen. And let me add to that: what a cultural gem. A smoking-allowed internet cafe where you can also gamble? A large blue jackelope? The weirdest hat collection with hats you can buy? Apparently they also have coffee somewhere, which we couldn’t find, even though there was a building with a huge sign that said “coffee”. I strongly recommend a visit.

South of the Border
South of the Border welcomes you
Matt rides the Jackelope
You too can ride a large blue jackelope

Chris in the weird hat
Take this hat home to mom
Band purchases
The band purchases: a witch hat with fake hair, a chinese harmonica, and a cat shirt. Nice work boys.


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